OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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