her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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