no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
