my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
