he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
