I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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