My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My feet surprised me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
