If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
