She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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