her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
