found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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