Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
