I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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