YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
