just come out here and I will go home with you...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
