this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
