the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
