Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
