The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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