I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
