there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
