i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
