new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
