That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize