you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
