Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
