holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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