It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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