You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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