Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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