I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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