HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
