Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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