Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
