Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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