That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
