im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
