garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
