i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
