And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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