I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
