there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
