Farmville is her only friend.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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