Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
