Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
