I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
