If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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