Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
