My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My cat gives me a boner
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
