some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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