She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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