a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
