Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What drink are we having for lunch?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
