he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
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I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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