also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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