none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
